i’m really sorry you feel like this, it’s really shit and i understand how you’re feeling, i know it sounds cliche, but it will get better i promise you. the best advice i can give to you is to focus on your studies!!! focus on them and get decent grades then get the hell out of there and live the life you want to live, have a fresh start. i can promise you that it will be okay, my dms are open if u even need to talk <3