vent ab sh

everyday i always think about cutting myself and now i finally did it. I hate myselt so much.. I was sober for 7 months and 6days and i ruined it all.. Now all i think about is if my mom will find out and yell at me again. whenever i see it on my wrist i always think about overlapping then on eachother until it leaves a big white scar on my wridt or just leave scars on my entire body.