I don't know where else to vent.

I don't know what to do. My life has gone to shit. I have and am losing so many people, I have gifted kid burnout, I don't have fun doing the one thing I had fun doing, my best friend of 9 years is kinda avoiding me, I am losing so much will, I'm failing my classes, and for god sake I'm scared. If this is a punishment then okay I think I learned my lesion from the damn trauma I went through as a kid and what is going on know. All I want is a break and to be happy but I can't even get that. I am just so sick of fighting and fighting and fighting and still nothing. Life has taken the few things I have asked to stay and now I have nothing. Is that selfish? I don't think it is I don't ask for anything hardly. I do so much. I just thought maybe just maybe I will finally get something after years of absolute shit I have had to do/ go through but no. I know life is unfair but damn just one day. I am only 13-15 and I am crying all night and attempted so many times and I am scared. Damn it for once I am scared for my self. I just want something that wont go away that will bring me joy.