warning do not read if you dont like death,loss,And suicide.

i wanna kms and all of my friends left me for no reason and all for me family is dead but me my lil bro and mom i dont want to leave my mom but life really gets too much and last year my dad passed and i lived with him for 10 years i never left his site and i have nothing of my dad's stuff all i have is 2 t-shirts when everyone on my dad's side of the fam gets something of his. but i was the only one that stayed with him i could have left him if i wanted to but i didn't his death was a big impact on my mantel health. and fiscal health i lossed 40 pounds i dint get out of bed if i did it was for the bathroom. i still am like that my mom thinks it was her falt that he died but its not. i just wanna feel full again i wanna be happy and go do thinsg but I'm so mentally drained...