My life is hard

I am 21 years old and i never thought id even make it to 20, i am really struggling, i have no friends and only my mum, sister and nana as close family, my mum is an alcoholic, my sister used to bully me so bad i have no self confidence. I seriously need help, i have a counselor i talk to but it only really helps when im there listening and talking to her otherwise i just forget everything that helps me with my mental problems. My mum is the only one that gets my problems but since shes an alcoholic its like having 2 different mums, one that supports and understands me and one that i absolutely hate and cant stand being near. I smoke weed to numb everything but even thats becoming hard to deal with having to rely on it to make me feel okay. I just want to be happy and i wish i had friends, im so lonley and sad and im sick of feeling this way every single day.