I'm so confused about my gender and sexuality
Sorry if none of this makes sense I tried to use grammar but it's hard to vent and keep it making scene but I tried.
Is this normal has anyone else gone from thinking they were a non-binary lesbian to a trans gay man? I don't know when I thought I was a lesbian (I was around the age of 10ish) I didn't like the thought of being a "girl" with a guy so I settled on lesbian because I knew I was some kind of gay. I even got a girlfriend being young and confused and felt I had to be in a relationship because the girl who asked was my best friend but now more recently I was thinking about my gender again because I've always felt I would be happier if I was born a boy but suppressed those thoughts but they keep coming back into my head and even in my dreams.
I done know I don't want to be a trans man because I wish I could just be a boy snap my fingers and be one I wish I was born one instead of having to become one with people knowing I wasn't born a boy. you know? I don't know
Especially because if I realize I am trans Its not like I can even do anything about it I'm surrounded by a extremely homophobic transphobic father, a mother who is confused about all that stuff, transphobic homophobic classmates who would probably not be kind to me. And two grandmothers who are very proud of having a pretty "granddaughter" as I'm the only one and by my mother's side and my father's so they wouldn't be accepting of me.
The only person I feel I could talk to is my aunt who is a masculine presenting lesbian but I physically struggle to talk about myself or how I'm feeling so I don't know.
I feel guilty for thinking this way because I have a girlfriend who just thinks I'm non-binary but I don't know how to tell her I might be trans masc and I don't want her to be upset as I'm one of the only people she has because she's homeschooled has always been bullied and doesn't really have any other irl friends.
Is this normal has anyone else gone from thinking they were a non-binary lesbian to a trans gay man? I don't know when I thought I was a lesbian (I was around the age of 10ish) I didn't like the thought of being a "girl" with a guy so I settled on lesbian because I knew I was some kind of gay. I even got a girlfriend being young and confused and felt I had to be in a relationship because the girl who asked was my best friend but now more recently I was thinking about my gender again because I've always felt I would be happier if I was born a boy but suppressed those thoughts but they keep coming back into my head and even in my dreams.
I done know I don't want to be a trans man because I wish I could just be a boy snap my fingers and be one I wish I was born one instead of having to become one with people knowing I wasn't born a boy. you know? I don't know
Especially because if I realize I am trans Its not like I can even do anything about it I'm surrounded by a extremely homophobic transphobic father, a mother who is confused about all that stuff, transphobic homophobic classmates who would probably not be kind to me. And two grandmothers who are very proud of having a pretty "granddaughter" as I'm the only one and by my mother's side and my father's so they wouldn't be accepting of me.
The only person I feel I could talk to is my aunt who is a masculine presenting lesbian but I physically struggle to talk about myself or how I'm feeling so I don't know.
I feel guilty for thinking this way because I have a girlfriend who just thinks I'm non-binary but I don't know how to tell her I might be trans masc and I don't want her to be upset as I'm one of the only people she has because she's homeschooled has always been bullied and doesn't really have any other irl friends.
16-17