I don’t know.

I don’t know how to title this. I need to get this out of my head.

All the hardships I’ve been through, that has scarred me in someway, will never be considered “traumatising enough” by other people. So much people have gone through worse. I still have a roof over my head, and food to eat. So why do I act this way? I doubt my parents are abusive, all my bad relationships are just stupid. Like ha! Abusive ex? That doesn’t mean anything. Having to go through your old girlfriend committing suicide? No that’s not enough! Having your old boyfriend also commit!!?? That’s not bad! Maybe I’m just cursed when it comes to love. Or maybe I’m just such a bad boyfriend that everyone who loves me feels like they should die. But anyways, that’s not the point.

Everything I’ve been through has just been all in my head. My sister says that anyway. She always says that what I’m going through is normal. If it is then why have I tried to take my life 5 times?? And yet they never worked. I wish they did. That way my curse could end.