i feel like im surving rather than living

tbh I don't like this stuff. I hate the whole "we are here for u" and all that cringy stuff because it doesn't feel real or true. it's like when someone sees my scars they wanna take action. and it's like we should be caring for everyone whether or not u see something. i get lectured a lot by my parents every time i mess up. my phone is constantly being taken off me right now its for around a month so that's just great. i don't have a problem with my looks I'm a very lucky girl, however, we could all be a bit better. i just idk i tryed headspace everything and they all say the same things. I talk to the school nurse but nothing. i just feel numb tbh i feel like im surviving each day rather than living, I've had to have my friend stay over for around four nihts because ik if i have someone with me i cant sh and that's been really good however when she left its happened again. i just i suppose need advice and im sorry this is long its just i dont wanna tell anyone i know so here we are xo take care of yourself.