My boyfriend thinks he has autism

I just wanted to put this somewhere. I’m diagnosed with autism and adhd. My boyfriend claims he might have autism. I always thought he didn’t have it because he doesn’t show any major symptoms. I asked him to list the symptoms he has and I feel like they overlap more with adhd rather than autism. I want to tell him but he might not have a good reaction if I give my opinion. It’s been weighing on my mind and I just wanted to say this. I’ve mostly been scared of his reaction. If I just outright say “I don’t think you have autism” he might get mad and say “you don’t know everything about me so don’t give your opinion when I haven’t even told you everything”

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robb65 · 56-60, M

I think my question would be what exactly is he looking for. Is he really wanting to get tested? Does he need your encouragement for that? Or is he just wanting to give you a heads up in case it affects your relationship?

I've suspected for over a decade now that I have a mild form of ADD but I was never tested. A few years ago I mentioned it to a friend because of concerns it could affect our relationship. She understood exactly where I was coming from and was supportive. Then I mentioned it to a family member who didn't take it seriously and was not supportive. More recently I took an online test for Autism and was shocked to learn that I'm apparently "somewhere on the spectrum". That I've kept to myself, no logical reason I can think of to go there at the moment.

At this point In my life I see no reason to get tested. I've dealt with this, whatever "this" is for a lifetime now. I'm not interested in being medicated or having it on some medical record somewhere. Being diagnosed wouldn't change anything either way, I'm still me whether or not anyone puts a name with whatever causes me to be who I am. On the other hand, maybe if I had been tested about 50 years ago it would have changed something but it's too late in the game to be second guessing things now.