What do I do with myself

I feel as if my childhood was robbed from me. Although my parents are considered rich I’m the least happiest person and my friend group and at a very young age I was exposed to “things” that I wasn’t supposed to and it generated some problems. Also around the same time my dad would yell at my mom until she cried he only stopped doing that recently unfortunately and I feel obligated to love him because he has cancer. He has traumatized me in many different ways and that’s why I love my mother more but now I’m conflicted on who I should love because my mom is becoming one of those anti vaccine people and she smothers me in essential oils. She says I should diet for some reason to get rid of my acne but I feel as if she’s doing so because of my weight. The worst part about my year however is my precious bunny dying. She was only 12 weeks old and was kind and friendly. I have learned to be gentle with myself but my mom is berating me about my other bunny. She always says he will die (because he got a small fungal infection) and even proposed to put him down for no reason. She argues with me for no reason it gives me insane anxiety and now I’m getting the fear of the sounds of foot steps coming towards my door. Now my Instagram got banned and so did my backup account for no reason and they held some sentimental value. On top of all this crazy stuff some Russian people came over and there was a little girl who wanted to play with me but I was tired and couldn’t speak Russian so I ignored her. Now I feel terrible I’m a people pleaser I act crazy or rude while in the moment then I’ll cry after I realize what I did even if I wasn’t in the wrong my school is opening up soon and I’m not sure if I should be happy or terrified. I just want to stay in bed and I refuse to belive I’m starting school on Monday soon. If you read this whole thing thank you for listening and please give me some words of comfort.