Random issue

Im starting to have more problems at home and its affecting how i behave, even my friends tell me i look very off and when we go out tg they say im way more quiet than usual and get mad easier. Tbh im just fighting myself in my head like every second and i just dont know how to deal with this plus id rather stay quiet than explain myself its easier that way, also when i have somethings thats bothering me or something i dont tell anyone because i know i know i know they're gonna use it against me at somepoint or tell somebody else trust me i know because this has happend to me way to many times causing me to have mad trust issues.