Baby it’s getting cold inside ❄️ **insomnia rantings**

I believed if I persevered with kindness and generosity, I could get close to someone who might cherish me. I created art from broken bits on sleepless nights, words and songs. I made people smile and laugh to help get us through hard days, and I gave my truth out of respect for other’s journeys.

I didn’t do it for notoriety so get that out of your brain. I’m not that fkn person.

I just wanted a family. I wanted to feel loved. Then those jerks went and died.

I wake far too early in the morning with rocks on my chest and poison in my belly.

People say they care, but they forget about you, usually before they remembered to make an effort.

Most days I’m fine. I get by feeling my emotions, but you’d never know. I show nothing anymore. It’s better that way.

It’s better this way, I tell myself. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Over and over to ease the ache of longing for something that has never existed.

Why/how do I want a love that I’ve never even known to be real?

Delusional perhaps.