Wasted Potential

Imagine putting so much effort into something entirely new because you want to begin expressing your self more, find out more about yourself, being more normal, and putting yourself out more because your lowkey scared of dying alone with no friends and once your finished with said thing you begin feeling confident and is actually excited to go the school just to see the change, aka the place your always dreading to go, only for something to happen and all of a sudden all of the effort u put in immediately goes to waste like every other time you try to better yourself, making you feel stupid and now you're questioning whether or not it's even worth trying again because you feel like it was a sign that no matter what you do, you will never truly be happy. No? Just me?