Idk what to do bout this
Okay so it's been so any months but the problem is still alive.
Quick note: we know each other irl and we know everyone in the gc irl.
Back in July, during summer holidays, I got into an argument with this girl in one of our gc. Let's just call her 'z' . She kept trying to force me to answer some question but I kept refusing and I made it obvious. She got mad at me for not answering her and we kinda argued for a while. But it got to a point she bring up my insecurities by 'accident'. I didn't do the same to her but I told her I hated her so much and what she said was wrong. Z said that she thought 'it was a joking argument like the ones she would have with j.' (J is one of the other ppl in the gc) I left the group chat straight after but someone added me back less then a week after. Z said she was sorry and she didnt mean it bc she thought it was a joke. By that time I couldn't believe what she had said bc of what she had done. I told her that 'Sorry wasn't going to fix everything and I'm sick and tired of everyone saying sorry but not meaning it' I wanted to say more but I stopped.
I left the gc for another time but this time no one added me back. I didn't mind tho.
No one texted me for about a week and I wasn't bothered.
Until I posted on my status that I was leaving the friendship group for good. I made sure that I only let the people in the gc see bc I didn't want anyone else to be involve.
After about 5 hours of it being up, another person from the gc 'h' texted me. But she didn't even bother to ask me how I felt or anything. She straight up attacked me and acted if it was all my fault. She said that if i had just accepted the apology everything would be fine.
Many people ended up blocking me after even though the argument didn't really involve them, but then again it was in a gc. I only had three people to talk to yet I didn't talk to two of them because they just wanted to hear my side of the story and I was just so sick of there ppl in the gc.
I didn't really have anyone to vent to other then my friends from another country but I didn't want to bother them since their already busy with their lives.
I ended up just isolating myself and had many thoughts on dying but the only reason I still had a reason to live was bc of my crush. (I think back to this and I feel pathetic)
In school z ignored me which I'm fine about but my close friends started leaving me out. They would make plans in front of me but not include me in them. My crush was with my close friends and she started ignoring me to. It hurt a lot but I still tried to be happy.
I eventually found out my crush was now dating someone and I just hurt me more. I've liked that person since last year and everyone knew yet this happened.
My heart kinda felt like it was breaking. My past scars were still recovering and here I was breaking.
I tried to be happy for them yet I couldn't hold it in. I ended up leaving the area they were in and started crying to myself.
But now it's been months yet they always bring up the argument as if they can use it against me 24/7. Many ppl came up to me and apologied during those months but I could tell they weren't genuine. They still talked bad behind my back. I wanna confront them but I'm too scared.
Pls give me advice
Sorry if this don't make sense
Quick note: we know each other irl and we know everyone in the gc irl.
Back in July, during summer holidays, I got into an argument with this girl in one of our gc. Let's just call her 'z' . She kept trying to force me to answer some question but I kept refusing and I made it obvious. She got mad at me for not answering her and we kinda argued for a while. But it got to a point she bring up my insecurities by 'accident'. I didn't do the same to her but I told her I hated her so much and what she said was wrong. Z said that she thought 'it was a joking argument like the ones she would have with j.' (J is one of the other ppl in the gc) I left the group chat straight after but someone added me back less then a week after. Z said she was sorry and she didnt mean it bc she thought it was a joke. By that time I couldn't believe what she had said bc of what she had done. I told her that 'Sorry wasn't going to fix everything and I'm sick and tired of everyone saying sorry but not meaning it' I wanted to say more but I stopped.
I left the gc for another time but this time no one added me back. I didn't mind tho.
No one texted me for about a week and I wasn't bothered.
Until I posted on my status that I was leaving the friendship group for good. I made sure that I only let the people in the gc see bc I didn't want anyone else to be involve.
After about 5 hours of it being up, another person from the gc 'h' texted me. But she didn't even bother to ask me how I felt or anything. She straight up attacked me and acted if it was all my fault. She said that if i had just accepted the apology everything would be fine.
Many people ended up blocking me after even though the argument didn't really involve them, but then again it was in a gc. I only had three people to talk to yet I didn't talk to two of them because they just wanted to hear my side of the story and I was just so sick of there ppl in the gc.
I didn't really have anyone to vent to other then my friends from another country but I didn't want to bother them since their already busy with their lives.
I ended up just isolating myself and had many thoughts on dying but the only reason I still had a reason to live was bc of my crush. (I think back to this and I feel pathetic)
In school z ignored me which I'm fine about but my close friends started leaving me out. They would make plans in front of me but not include me in them. My crush was with my close friends and she started ignoring me to. It hurt a lot but I still tried to be happy.
I eventually found out my crush was now dating someone and I just hurt me more. I've liked that person since last year and everyone knew yet this happened.
My heart kinda felt like it was breaking. My past scars were still recovering and here I was breaking.
I tried to be happy for them yet I couldn't hold it in. I ended up leaving the area they were in and started crying to myself.
But now it's been months yet they always bring up the argument as if they can use it against me 24/7. Many ppl came up to me and apologied during those months but I could tell they weren't genuine. They still talked bad behind my back. I wanna confront them but I'm too scared.
Pls give me advice
Sorry if this don't make sense
16-17, F
