i dont know... but i need to vent

well life has been hard lately, he makes me feel complete but at the same time i feel unhappy and i dont know why... i love him so much i dont want anything to happend to him but i feel weird about this.

i get very tired everyday and now i dont have any time for friends or talking because of how tired i feel.

i dont know who my mom is... i sometimes overthink about this and keep asking the same questions... why did she leave? was it me? what did dad do?

some people at school stare at me, even a classmate that makes me feel uncomfortable does it like a death stare, no emotions on eyes or anything, i know he does it on purpose to bother me but it is very uncomfortable to me still.

i have this kind of classmate/cold friendship with my ex, he annoys me sometimes, i think he is very annoying and i get grossed put when i look at him but sometimes i think he is a very good friend and cares. i dont know why i have to be like this.

i sometimes hurt people with my real personality so i have to change it to not hurt someone... because i dont even mean to... :c

i feel really bad about myself... i want things to change and i try to make things change but nothing works and that hurts me a lot because i give the best of me for nothing...

enough-

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

Everyone is in the grey zone. No one is completely good or bad. Your brain wants to categorize people which is why you oscillate between black and white thinking. But that's okay. You have to tell your brain to not try to categorize people, and to leave them as they are. You can practice being indifferent towards who they are so that it starts bothering you less. It takes a lot of patience. But it is freeing.