My Bpd kills me..

I feel like i can't do it anymore.. nothing is how I want it ... I just want to have a normal night listen to music and feel good, my bpd kills me, my bf never asks me back how i feel or if i eat smth or how my day was.. everytime when I tell him what I do that day he just start talk ab about him-self.. he ask me hru/if is smth wrong just when I show the fact i dont feel ok... and rn he is mad at me cuz i response to his "are you ok" with "its doesn't matter, you?" I do it cuz i was mad somehow... I cant do it anymore just, I have talked to him many times ab this and he doesn't really care ab it... he s more happy to talk ab his friends or his self...and here im.. crying when I was supposed to feel good and can't umdersant myself while he s sleeping... ik... ik he love me... and I cant break up with him cuz everytime when I break up with someone i hate myself sm...