I'm so tired
I just want to be in a relationship with the guy I like ( lets call him G ), but I barely ever talk to him. And he always talks first, but its never really talks, just saying things about school. Like really we never, ever talk. He doesn't even have my number. At the beginning of the school year, we didn't notice each other at ALL. But after him being close to me on the merit list (like top 10 academic people in your grade), I noticed him ,and noticed how similar we were. He was like if I was a boy. But yeah, never ever spoke to him. In the last term of school, he sometimes reacted to me in math class, or asked me a question about work, even though he's just as smart as me. He sometimes made small comments, but we never had a proper convo.
Recently, I told these "friends" of mine that I like G, but that girl ( lets call her L ) I told apparently likes G as well, but he rejected her over text. (not to be rude, but he would never go for her because she's overweight). One of my guy friends ( lets call him A ) also overheard us talking about him and that I liked G.
A confessed that he had a crush on me a couple of weeks ago, but I told him we should just be friends ( A makes me a bit uncomfortable, making a lot of sexual comments or suggests sexual stuff ). I then told L and my other guy friend that A confessed to me, and told them not to tell A that I told them he confessed to me. But apparently word came out and A found out I told someone about him confessing to me, but he never confronted me directly.
So fast forward to now, I'm still crushing on G, whatever. L tells me over text that A told her he's going to tell G that I like G. So maybe his way of "getting back" at me for telling my friends about he confessing to me. But I feel it's unfair, he shouldn't tell MY CRUSH that I like him. But whatever, I tell myself he probably wont, or I would just forget about it or something.
So today ( by the way, our school year is now at a end, like we now have summer break ) we wrote our last exam and the school year is now done, (our class will see each other only 3 more times this year for report cards and textbook things at school), and just as the exam ended I went over to L's table to talk to her, but as I go over, the guy who sits in front of L, asks me," Do you like G?". And I was like what? How does he know? I just said "No", but then L said, "He knows, G also knows." My heart dropped. Not just did a random guy in my class know about me liking G, but G HIMSELF KNOWS. I figured A or L probably snitched. I just walked away from them and sat at my desk and waited for the bell to wring to go home.
So G probably knows, but he hasn't said anything. The 3 days I go back to school is going to be so awkward. And I already knew L was a fake friend, I was just too scared to drop her. So what the hell do I do now? Just ignore everything? I feel like I just went through a break up, even though I wasn't even with G.
Also sorry, this text was probably bad. I'm kind of young and English isn't my first language. But what do I do? Any coping methods? I already listen to a bunch of heartbreak songs. But I really loved G. He was special.
Recently, I told these "friends" of mine that I like G, but that girl ( lets call her L ) I told apparently likes G as well, but he rejected her over text. (not to be rude, but he would never go for her because she's overweight). One of my guy friends ( lets call him A ) also overheard us talking about him and that I liked G.
A confessed that he had a crush on me a couple of weeks ago, but I told him we should just be friends ( A makes me a bit uncomfortable, making a lot of sexual comments or suggests sexual stuff ). I then told L and my other guy friend that A confessed to me, and told them not to tell A that I told them he confessed to me. But apparently word came out and A found out I told someone about him confessing to me, but he never confronted me directly.
So fast forward to now, I'm still crushing on G, whatever. L tells me over text that A told her he's going to tell G that I like G. So maybe his way of "getting back" at me for telling my friends about he confessing to me. But I feel it's unfair, he shouldn't tell MY CRUSH that I like him. But whatever, I tell myself he probably wont, or I would just forget about it or something.
So today ( by the way, our school year is now at a end, like we now have summer break ) we wrote our last exam and the school year is now done, (our class will see each other only 3 more times this year for report cards and textbook things at school), and just as the exam ended I went over to L's table to talk to her, but as I go over, the guy who sits in front of L, asks me," Do you like G?". And I was like what? How does he know? I just said "No", but then L said, "He knows, G also knows." My heart dropped. Not just did a random guy in my class know about me liking G, but G HIMSELF KNOWS. I figured A or L probably snitched. I just walked away from them and sat at my desk and waited for the bell to wring to go home.
So G probably knows, but he hasn't said anything. The 3 days I go back to school is going to be so awkward. And I already knew L was a fake friend, I was just too scared to drop her. So what the hell do I do now? Just ignore everything? I feel like I just went through a break up, even though I wasn't even with G.
Also sorry, this text was probably bad. I'm kind of young and English isn't my first language. But what do I do? Any coping methods? I already listen to a bunch of heartbreak songs. But I really loved G. He was special.
16-17