My time to vent.

I hate everything form my shitty life. Each one of my teachers have their own demands. Last time i forgot to bring something for a teacher of mine she started yelling at me in front of my class and talked about how embarrassed she felt for saying good things to my mom. As she saw that I was crying instead of apologising she kept on telling me to stop acting innocently and that she doesnt feel bad about me and thst she feels bad about my mom instead for thr mistake she made. Then my mental breakdown took place, so I had to hide it and went near my class (keep in mind in my school on breaks we are only allowed to be out) and i couldnt even breath. My other teacher found me and then she helped me out to get better and become able to feel OK again. After I started to feel super dizzy. Later on that day my brother beat me up i dont know why, he just does this once a month. Coming back to my mental breakdown, i hid it as i dont have irl friends i can rely on as each one of them just wants to manipulate me bt since i have social anxiety, i cant stay alone on breaks so i have to follow the boys, (im a boy too tho, although im closeted🏳️‍🌈) and the boy i like must be straight too tho but even if hes bisexual or smth, he wont even look at me, i look like an emo, seem depressed and we never ever talked anyway, im hopeless but im hopeless for everything. Nothing gets better, it gets worse. Except that the period of exams are starting and I have to focus on them instead of my mental health. If i had good grades it would solve all of my problems. I hate everything about me, my personality, my looks, my grades, my family, my friends, my school. Only thing keeping me alive is my online friends and the fact su1c1d3 is a sin in christianity. I am too sensitive I know it but if i could improve, i would do it. I need to stop being annoying, start studying more, and be the kindest to all of my teachers I believe, if any if you took everything I could into consideration, please let me know if i can do anything to stop being annoying.

Thandeka · 31-35, F

@Adogslife I thought I was reading something written by a teenager till I saw the age.

helenS · 36-40, F

@Thandeka Those were my thought too, and welcome to the mothership! Glad you found your way to us. 🌷

Fewmunz · 18-21

Your good enough as you are :,c its fine to let it out dear stranger on the internet.you should be more vocal about your feelings although ik easier said than done.From what i can tell your not annoying in fact your vv considerate and maybe you can try breathing exercises to help manage your feelings , it helps me to keep calm after an episode but im not sure for you . Dont mind my opinion tho it up to you how you will approach this situation! If you need another friend or a listening ear I’d gladly help! You can do it good stranger!