I try too hard to impress ppl i like

This is kinda stupid to vent about but i find myself trying to get people i like a little too much to like me aswell but i just end up being awkward. I’d say im a very sensitive person and if anyone stares at me “seriously”, I’ll think they dislike me. Maybe 2 years ago, i became friends with a girl that i had really wanted to be friends with back in fourth grade. She didnt go to my school but i knew her through our parents. I only saw her once in grade 4 but i had really liked her and we started hanging out a little a year ago due to a common interest we had. Music taste (expect hers was much better). We were really close last year and i actually was crushing on her. One day she asked me if i liked her and i said something like maybe or idk (i forgot to mention she was lesbian). I asked her if she liked me and she said idk (this happened in june). I bet by august time she thought i lost feelings and she did too because she wouldn’t stop talking about a girl she liked, i was supportive and i told myself that i didnt like her anymore (obvi a lie). As fall came around i was a little more awkward around her than usual and i think she noticed, so we hung out less frequently. Many times during winter and fall id ask if she wanted to hangout and she’d give a terrible excuse like “its too cold.” I really thought she didnt like me anymore. We’d have our ups and downs, and so many times she’s been the reason i cried. The girl i liked wasnt rlly popular but she was super cool and so were her friends, i felt like i wasnt on that “coolness” level as her. Super surprised to find out that she was going to my highschool because she swore she was going to a public school but here she is. During summer school (this year btw), we hardly taked except during lunch time. She made friends and treated them better (she also treated some of my own friends better than she did to me) : i became a little jealous and felt horrible for it. Except, one time she said thankyou for making her feel more comfortable in the new school bc she “didn’t” know anyone, i was so happy when she texted me that. but it was worse when grade highschool started. For a bit we used to greet eachother in the halls and when we stopped, i thought she was pissed at me. When i asked her, she replied annoyedly at me and said she thought i was ignoring her. I was so embarrassed with myself i wish i never asked. This was also around the time were she stopped joining me and our friend for lunch sometimes without any notice. Today, she said she maybe to sitting with us but never showed (feeling kinda ditched rn). I can change mindsets really easily so sometimes i think i can just smooth everything over at school but i never do. When i see her with her friends, i get envious but i wish i was like her friends bc they are all so chill. I wish i could confront her but also tell her that without her, i would never be this cool、😎. I dont want to fall apart from her, but i also dont want these confusing feeling. Without just her im kinda a loser lol. Thats all does this make sense? I was just kinda typing and didnt read it over.