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Mildly AdultAnxious
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What should I do ?

I haven’t made a post like that before so I’m sorry if I make something wrong .

I’m not really sure we’re to start actually and I hope this don’t sounds to cringe, anyways a year and a half ago , I assume , I accidentally felt in love with my teacher which was stupid , but mostly like happened because I don’t have a father . However he eventually started liking me too , or he groomed me, not sure after all. We meet up after school and tbh he is a pretty weird guy with weird political views.


I’m now pretty traumatized after everything that happened, and left me in trauma and extreme anxiety and stress. I feel like I’m nothing without him but I’m the other side I don’t want to ever see him again. Surviving the school days is like hell , for many reasons first because I’m in constant fear whenever I see him , I sometimes literally just run away because of how traumatized I am ( which made me almost break my arm because I feel down the stairs ) one time he saw me running away from him and oh boy he was so mad. He also either treats me like a a piece of shit or is extremely horny forwards me .
My mom won’t allow to change schools but still being here and experience extreme high levels of anxiety on a daily basis , which are only somewhat bearable because of nicotine ,is truly painful. I also got diagnosed with depression a while ago and I went to therapy but mainly because my mom saw the huge scar on my arm ( I felt really down and really just wanted to disappear from this world ) however it was pretty useless.

I feel so lost without him but being with him is even worsen. I don’t have friends so that’s why im posting this here , I just really wanted to let this go off my chest . Thanks for reading of you did , I truly appreciate it <3 and you have to say anything just thanks for reading <3


Also im not a native speaker btw
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Amylynne · 31-35, F
this is not so unusual. he was an intense thing in your life, even tho you do not want him, you miss that intensity and the things that were part of it. You should list, to yourself what it is about that time that draws you AND list the things that do not.
I am happy to discuss this in private. YOu will get past this