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i hate myself.

i want to be someone who does not care what people think of them, i want to be someone pretty, i want to be confident, i want to be social, i want to have friends, i want to have someone who loves me, i want to be educated, i want a loving mom figure, i just want to be happy, i do not want to be myself, i do not want to be here anymore. i hate myself.
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These are good goals to have. Education is something you can pursue and something that will definitely help you build your confidence ,social skills if you attend a campus and do group work and also possibly friends. You can work on being pretty by working on your diet ,exercise ,sleep schedule ,taking care of yourself etc . All those things are a version of you that you can work towards, in regards with others actions towards you ,like your family etc thats often outside of our control as much as we wish everyone would have a loving background. You can focus on the things that you can do for yourself and i believe everything else you wish for will also happen along your journey to being the ideal you. But please be patient with yourself and kind 🫂 change takes time and often it is the process that teaches us the most not the end result