i think i might be autistic and idk what to do about it

i know the simple solution might be to just seek a professional's help but i'm unable to do so because my mom has fully convinced herself that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. doing as little as suggesting the opposite to her will make her absolutely lose her shit and she'll tell me that she raised me too well for me to turn out like this, and that it's all my fault because i haven't been praying to god enough. i've been having an extremely difficult time with school and especially social situations and i don't know how to seek help. a lot of things have been really out of my control recently, especially my routine,and it's making me really frustrated and i come home so exhausted and overwhelmed to the point where i can't even be around my family because it's draining.