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My Childhood Struggles

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My mum has a mental illness and I had no knowledge of this till I was 11 and she had a mental breakdown in front of me saying that she was going to kill herself and leave my dad. I didn't know what to do so I called the police and the ambulance took her. I was then stuck with my dad and brother. I thought my mum won't come back for years. I never visited her at all. After a few months my mum came back. She was prescribed medicine but since she didn't want to take it, it meant we had to hide it in her food. One day she found out but since she didn't want to go back to the mental hospital, she remained calm and was being very mature. On that same day, we went to tesco. I couldn't tell that she was angry or upset. We went and bought our stuff and it was nearly closing time and we had to hurry. The machine stopped scanning and staff came to fix it. The staff has accidentally charged my mum an extra 38p and she was extremely angry. She probably couldn't keep her anger in anymore and let it all out. She was screaming and pushing herself, hurting herself and more. I was very emotional and I called my dad as I didn't want her going to mental hospital again. My dad came and he tried to calm her down. They both got into an argument and staff has called the police and they were here. My dad drove me back to the house and told us to go to sleep (because this was going on for about 3 hours and it was about 2am). I kept on crying but eventually went to sleep. I woke up and everything went as normal except my mum wasn't here. I asked my dad about it and she went to the mental hospital again. I started self harming. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened and eventually I let it all out in class. It was very embarrassing and I had to tell the teacher I was having stomach problems. As I was walking home with my friends, I was still very sad and I told my friends what happened. I accidentally slipped up in my words and told my friends that my mum is abusive and hits me. The next day my friends told the teachers and I was given a short term social worker. He was meant to stop my mum abusing me. My social worker tried to stop my mum from abusing me but it was reported by my brother and I was put in place for a long term social worker. At this point I stopped self harming. I thought they could help. For a while I felt distant from my friends, they told the teachers everything I said to them. Despite me saying not to tell anyone, they still told. My mum and dad decided to separate for a while. Me being with my dad and my brother with my mum. My brother couldn't take it and decided to come to me and my dad. This led to my mum getting angry and hitting us both again till we both bled. My dad had it worse though,he still has scars till this day. I'm still thinking if my friends are even my friends. They know everything about me and they didn't spare one detail to the teachers. I'm 13 now,im going through counselling and I'm also talking to my speech therapist. My long term social worker is still here. My mums getting better but Ive recently heard she's self harming and suicidal. My dad is coping but I worry they both may go mental and I may be taken from my family. I'm lying to my mum when she asked if I was suicidal. It was very hard not to cry. My parents are struggling financially and I don't know how to help. I'm only 13. Should I say anything to my social worker about me being suicidal?

 
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