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Needed a place to clear things off my chest

I want to say that I’m stressed. But I’m not. I want to say that I’m depressed, but I don’t feel like I am.

I think I’m overwhelmed slightly.

I bartended full time and lived the after hours drinking life, while trying to maintain life at home and taking of my toddler. Then I was hired at another job as IT support and started working there full time and cut my hours bartending. So I worked 2 jobs, enrolled my toddler in preschool and applied at University.

I got accepted at University and started this month.

A week after school, I was fired from the IT job and now that they hired a new bartender, my old shifts I recently had were taken so I only have 2 shifts per week instead of 4-5.

I was tired everyday. My IT shifts started at 6am so I had to get my son and I up at 4am just to get him prepared for school and so I can get to work on time. I was mentally and physically struggling. I never got to spend time with my son, and I was behind on housework and laundry and even self care.

I enjoyed the busy lifestyle, but I think deep down, I was burning myself out working both jobs and getting hired for a company I wasn’t thrilled to start with. I only started working there because my career goal is in the Technology field.

Well lately I’ve been thinking that I’ma failure, getting fired at a place with a child and now tuition to pay for, and then going back to my other job begging for any bartending shifts I can get while bills are breathing down my neck.

I just feel humiliated and disappointed.

But also, I feel like things are shedding some light upon me.

After getting let go at my job, I slept in, and got as much rest as I could get. I have been able to get back into the gym, I’m learning to communicate better with my bills and tell them I need a little more time and they’ve given me that, I have been able to take my son to school and then spend time with him after class.

And working two jobs already started getting me behind the first week of my school work and after getting let go I have been able to get caught up.

I’m happy with the turn out, but I’m also really nervous on how my life is going to turn around. I’m excited and nervous but hopeful that this minor come down will result in a major come up.
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Docdon23 · M
get the education piece done then move to work...don't stress yourself to death!