just a little vent...
My Family doesn't understands me, they always want to control me and avoided me from freedom, i just want to live my life. Of course yes i also do my studies but for them whenever i held my phone they always see it that im always on my phone scrolling to social media or playing games, then there's this other time where i din't ate dinner bc i was so busy with my studies (of course in todays generation cellphone's has been part to society)
Then if your asking what happened... So basically i was downloading a pdf, which consists my homeworks. So when i was about to go downstairs my mom was fuming hot and keep yelling and cursing why im always at the phone playing, that i should study study study. I understand that it's for my future but im also only a human i also need rest i also get tired. Then the confiscated my phone then slammed it to the floor 2 times and then read all my conversations to my friends
After that my mom came downstairs to yell at me once again, this time including my father, Infront of my siblings and grandmother. They keep saying that i don't do my studies, i dont care about my future,. And etc. And this moment i started crying because i was tired of explaining im feeling stressed out after they scolded me what seems to be an hour with horrific cursing. I watched tv like it was nothing and tries my best not to cry Infront of my siblings, because they also bullies me and shaming me for what i did like "lol that's what you get" or "karma". I also tried to explain to them what happened but they don't seem to budge i slept after that night crying. I woke up early in the morning hearing my family talking behind my back accusing me for lying that i did my homeworks, then what hurts me the most that my grandmother is in thier side she even said "yeah she really is a liar" (but they din't know i was awake) i was pretending to sleep. When i woke up, my brothers was laughing saying "how was your night" i looked at them at disbelief. And then since my parents read all my conversations they scolded me for saying "i love you" to my Friend, naturally this is my bestfriend. Ofc i love my bff, after she gave me those pdf for tomorrow's exam. So yeah my parents misunderstood me everytime. Not just only this time. This is just one of the moments why they never really care what i feel. They never allowed me to go sleepovers specially to my cousins house, never even let me to buy snacks at the store. Because it's dangerous. Look i get it that thier precocious over me because im thier only daughter, i also have a life you know i also need to go outside. I can't just be locked up in the house. My mom even choked me, while i was trying to pack my bags for a sleepover at my close cousins house. After she said yes Infront of my relatives that i can go to my cousins house, it's pretty hard actually all this pressure at this very young age. I don't usually tell my parents how i feel expecting that they'll judge my problems. Because of this i can't really focus. I feel like a burden towards them. The most thing i heard that broke my heart is when they said "your a useless piece of shit in this house, your the one that brings problem, i regret giving birth to you!" After that i knew what they meant. I don't know if i explained it well to you guys, but i just need to let go that heavyweight in my chest so i can move on without holding all the pressure whats holding me. I have to finish my homeworks right now, if someone's reading this i hope you're doing fine out there:)
Then if your asking what happened... So basically i was downloading a pdf, which consists my homeworks. So when i was about to go downstairs my mom was fuming hot and keep yelling and cursing why im always at the phone playing, that i should study study study. I understand that it's for my future but im also only a human i also need rest i also get tired. Then the confiscated my phone then slammed it to the floor 2 times and then read all my conversations to my friends
After that my mom came downstairs to yell at me once again, this time including my father, Infront of my siblings and grandmother. They keep saying that i don't do my studies, i dont care about my future,. And etc. And this moment i started crying because i was tired of explaining im feeling stressed out after they scolded me what seems to be an hour with horrific cursing. I watched tv like it was nothing and tries my best not to cry Infront of my siblings, because they also bullies me and shaming me for what i did like "lol that's what you get" or "karma". I also tried to explain to them what happened but they don't seem to budge i slept after that night crying. I woke up early in the morning hearing my family talking behind my back accusing me for lying that i did my homeworks, then what hurts me the most that my grandmother is in thier side she even said "yeah she really is a liar" (but they din't know i was awake) i was pretending to sleep. When i woke up, my brothers was laughing saying "how was your night" i looked at them at disbelief. And then since my parents read all my conversations they scolded me for saying "i love you" to my Friend, naturally this is my bestfriend. Ofc i love my bff, after she gave me those pdf for tomorrow's exam. So yeah my parents misunderstood me everytime. Not just only this time. This is just one of the moments why they never really care what i feel. They never allowed me to go sleepovers specially to my cousins house, never even let me to buy snacks at the store. Because it's dangerous. Look i get it that thier precocious over me because im thier only daughter, i also have a life you know i also need to go outside. I can't just be locked up in the house. My mom even choked me, while i was trying to pack my bags for a sleepover at my close cousins house. After she said yes Infront of my relatives that i can go to my cousins house, it's pretty hard actually all this pressure at this very young age. I don't usually tell my parents how i feel expecting that they'll judge my problems. Because of this i can't really focus. I feel like a burden towards them. The most thing i heard that broke my heart is when they said "your a useless piece of shit in this house, your the one that brings problem, i regret giving birth to you!" After that i knew what they meant. I don't know if i explained it well to you guys, but i just need to let go that heavyweight in my chest so i can move on without holding all the pressure whats holding me. I have to finish my homeworks right now, if someone's reading this i hope you're doing fine out there:)
22-25, F
