I’m struggling

I’m struggling being the “ perfect child “ I’m struggling to keep a smile on my face. My parents think I’m the best child because I’m always happy and I’m so bubbly, but I’m not . for years I’ve been starving myself otherwise I get called fat , I’ve been battling depression for 2 years now and they haven’t noticed, I’ve reached out but they haven’t noticed. I’m finally getting therapy to help but I just wish they truly understood