Idk what to put :/
I never did anything right. Even tho I did, my parents wont even believe anything I say. But it's okay :)) They're still my parents no matter what I do.
"You shoud get better grades" Yeah I did but for the next quarted I noticed that the grades dropped in two of my subjects. Last quarter it was 96 but it became 95. And the other subject it was 91 and it became 89/87 (I dont remember) then after that my mom didn't talk to me for 1 whole week straight. I was like okay maybe I deserve it? But then I realized was my mom too strict? And that's when I started getting jealous at other people's moms. Although I know its not good.. But I can't help but think that when their child gets a 70/80 on their report card but they don't get mad, they comforted their child instead :) And the way they "support" me, I dont like it. They always say "Nah, she can't do the exam" "(me) is not smart, how will she pass the exam?" "_______ is way better. (me) should be more like her" they said that because they thought I'm the one who thinks like "No! I'll prove them wrong!" that.
This happened a year ago, My dad was mad that time, I forgot why he was mad. But for sure I remember him shouted at me and said "useless child, you never did anything right" loudly. I mean, It's true? I sit around on the couch almost half of the day with my phone scrolling in tiktok. But I still help with the chores and do my assignments without their help. They do everything they could for us to have something to eat. And I feel sorry for them tbh..
I sometimes get scratches and wounds in all the parts of my body because my parents hit/slap me just because I did something that's not even a big deal. That's why when my friends pretend like they're going to hit me and say "Wow you're such a softie why are you scared?" I dont know, trauma? And I hate the fact that my parents compare me to my friends/other children who does better than me. And If I defend myself they'll say I'm disrespecting them.
They called me ugly, fat, small, I have ugly hair, ugly body, ugly face, eyes, nose, mouth, etc. and my cousin even laughed at me because I have so many acne... And then they'll be saying "You should earn more confidence, that's why you don't like socializing with people" Yeah sure....
I have good grades, I have friends, I have a complete family, I have a house, I have something to eat, I have a phone etc. And I am thankful for that! But there's something missing....
"You shoud get better grades" Yeah I did but for the next quarted I noticed that the grades dropped in two of my subjects. Last quarter it was 96 but it became 95. And the other subject it was 91 and it became 89/87 (I dont remember) then after that my mom didn't talk to me for 1 whole week straight. I was like okay maybe I deserve it? But then I realized was my mom too strict? And that's when I started getting jealous at other people's moms. Although I know its not good.. But I can't help but think that when their child gets a 70/80 on their report card but they don't get mad, they comforted their child instead :) And the way they "support" me, I dont like it. They always say "Nah, she can't do the exam" "(me) is not smart, how will she pass the exam?" "_______ is way better. (me) should be more like her" they said that because they thought I'm the one who thinks like "No! I'll prove them wrong!" that.
This happened a year ago, My dad was mad that time, I forgot why he was mad. But for sure I remember him shouted at me and said "useless child, you never did anything right" loudly. I mean, It's true? I sit around on the couch almost half of the day with my phone scrolling in tiktok. But I still help with the chores and do my assignments without their help. They do everything they could for us to have something to eat. And I feel sorry for them tbh..
I sometimes get scratches and wounds in all the parts of my body because my parents hit/slap me just because I did something that's not even a big deal. That's why when my friends pretend like they're going to hit me and say "Wow you're such a softie why are you scared?" I dont know, trauma? And I hate the fact that my parents compare me to my friends/other children who does better than me. And If I defend myself they'll say I'm disrespecting them.
They called me ugly, fat, small, I have ugly hair, ugly body, ugly face, eyes, nose, mouth, etc. and my cousin even laughed at me because I have so many acne... And then they'll be saying "You should earn more confidence, that's why you don't like socializing with people" Yeah sure....
I have good grades, I have friends, I have a complete family, I have a house, I have something to eat, I have a phone etc. And I am thankful for that! But there's something missing....
