vent, a little bit?

Since when i was a kid, probably 2, ive had this girl that became my friend, her name is sophie,, we had nicknames for each other, zofhia is my name, she calls me zof, sophie is her name, i call her sop, since it got to the age of 8 where she moved away, i thought of "maybe she'll come visit here some often" i was wrong ig, she moved away and lived somewhere else, we've always had eachothers side into 4 years, but the thing is.. i've always thought she was the one, and yes im lesbian,, the age of 8..where i had deppression, i was crying into my pillow all day thinking about our times..thinking if she does the same too, thinking if she cries in her pillow as the same as me..i know i might be stupid but im still praying, hoping, and manifesting is we bump onto eachother someday...im still hoping that we got into the same school and became classmates, but now.. its been 3 years, she probably forgot me, i forgot to say that the time where she cries so hard when her mom doesnt let her play with me, literally shattered my heart as shit, crying, listening to songs while thinking about her.. but im sure.. im pretty sure that she forgot about me...so this month, i had to give up my praying, and manifesting for her..i knew it was over, she was never coming back..to my life, a little extra to this post, i think it might be a good-ish idea to post this on random websites to find her, i know i gave up but idrk..so yes im one percent goodbye..:,)