vent : ( trigger warning : eating disorder )

i grew up being insecure with the age of 8 to 10, i had an eating disorder, i learned how to hide my emotions through strict parents, i also grew up with the internet, making friends and stuff, tried but did not work.. I was ungrateful of my cousin, ive always hated her, because of her beauty, i had no idea why - but i just do, she was nice to me ig..but i still was a katsuki to her,, later this month she started to distance away from me more often.. started making friends, i was overthinking and stuff and actually realized that i deserved it, i had the fat,huge guilt, still to this day, but now since ive got to get along with her sibling, i guess she hated me more.