i feel very tired

everyone i interact with is always disappointed with me, be it my parents, teachers, friends etc. i suffer from social anxiety n im not sure but i think depression too, ive felt like this since 2017 and although it got better, its become even worse now. i feel so useless because i dont have the motivation to go to school anymore n im suffering so much. i just want to be alone and away but not alone nor away at the same time. i just want to stop thinking and be comforted by my parents and not feel useless. idk what to do now haha, im not failing in fact im doing pretty well, i get mostly B's and some A's but the constant undermining of me makes me want to kms, when im at my lowest thats when they check up on me, and when im trying they never acknowledge it. i know that i shouldnt let other's expectations determine what i do or feel but as someone that never got validated when i was younger, it really hurts haha