Woohoo another vent

Sometimes I’m sad to be myself I’m sad that all I do is get pushed around by my friends I get treated not badly but they push me away and then I’m left to deal with it maybe I do deserve the treatment and I’m not saying it as in oh pity me I think I deserve it also I’m going on a trip with my family I choose a spot that was super special to me but once again my mom Invites someone who I’m not close with and didn’t want on this trip and I know it’s selfish like everyone says but they don’t understand I wanted this trip because I wanted to go out as a family be with my mom and dad after a good while on not going on vacation yknow but now that special family memory moment is ruined because my dads never home HES always in a bad mood and frankly my parents don’t leave each other I just wanted this to be like the old times and no matter how much I explain it. It hurts cause due to my family being like this like this I feel so alone I wanted to go to a theme park with my family or do something but at least I didn’t even do it I don’t have many summers left anyways I just wanted a special memory despite that I’m not close With my family I’m not a favorite all my relatives don’t really care about me and don’t include me so what’s the point I just want someone but I’m so mentally bad it wouldn’t work 💀 wanna kms Also I’m not sure if I’m age regressing sometimes also I keep questioning if I’m hypersexual okay that’s it sorry