Im a girl struggling with se/lf harm suicide and an eating disorder

Hi, i dont know how to start but im just gonna say it (this is going to be messy), i have had lots of Mental Health struggles throughout my life, i developed a habit to self harm every time i feel sad, i never learned any other way of doing so without feeling ashamed of bringing up the topic, i only found out anout this since my sister used to do it and ask me to take the blades away and hide them from her etc. i thought it was stupid but when everything got bad i decided to attempt, it became an addiction, one that im not proud of.
I have sadly attempted suicide once bu taking pills, it didnt work but it made me feel extremely ill and faint, i still think about doing it every so often, its really hard since i talk about it to my friends but no words ever helped.
I also happen to be bulimic, it started at the age of 9 and i recently relapsed at the begging of this year. I know this is a messy confession but i just need to get it off of my mind