a very seen problem

hi. i don't know where to start. i think i've been a cheerful person so far, i was happy that i didn't think i could have problems. i had family problems when i realized i wasn't as happy as i thought. my parents had more children than they could care for. we were like okay financially, but i also realized that i hadn't seen family love even once until i realized i wasn't happy. that day, my mom said she was pregnant with a new baby, and my sister wasn't happy about it because a baby needs attention, you know. that day my father slapped my sister "to calm her down". me and my older sisters left home, stayed with my aunts for a while and we never talked about it. after a while, the subject came up again and my parents ranted that we would not do anything for the "baby", they would care her "financial" needs anyway. they didn't even know about the love they should show for their childrens. and, mom and dad had an argue, she left home and didn't come back for a long time. she didn't even care about her children at that time. if i get past those, the baby was born and they did nothing for her other than care for her basic needs. she grew up, i picked her up from school most of the time. my aunt and sisters took care of their needs, which are more background than their basic needs. my parents weren't even grateful for that during that time. after that day, i could not be happy again as before, i collapsed physically. i couldn't take care of myself in these problems, and by the time i was 16, no one i liked and cared for turned to look at me. there was always better ones. my under eyes are very sunken and purple. it looks so ugly. i loved my nose, but over time its shape has changed and i look terrible from my side profile. there always was someone who was interested in all my friends, i acted like i didn't really care, but i've never seen anyone love me unconditionally in my life. even the people i talked to just to be friends found my better friends than me from my account and started try to get their attention. i've been with a few people, but i had a friend and you wouldn't believe but they all used me to get that friend. i was very worn out and started having problems with eating. i lost weight and because i was weak i fainted one day and i hit my head on a hard pavement. we went to hospital. i was asked to see a doctor about the heart and brain. it's been a year for my brain and i still haven't found an appointment, but i went to the heart doctor and found out that i have problems with blood pressure. i'm 16 years old and i'm so tired of being afraid that when i go somewhere alone, my eyes will turn black. there is much more, but i'm having a hard time explaining myself. so, if you are a parent, do not hesitate to treat your children with love.