I Can’t Talk To My Sister Anymore

My sister talked to me because she found out about my suicidal and self-harm thoughts. I wrote them down somewhere and she saw it. She spoke to me about it in an angry, degrading, and belittling tone. I’ve never felt more invalidated in my life. I haven’t cried so much in a day before. After she left the room, I fell down onto my knees crying. I had a panic attack and they just kept randomly happening throughout the day. Every time I think of my sister I suddenly start crying non-stop. Nothing has ever effected me this way before. I’ve been through some stuff but this was just terrible. My sister was the only person in my household I was comfortable with. Now entering my house makes me anxious. I can’t even leave my room without being scared my sister is there. I feel so pathetic.