I cant do this anymore

I cant do this anymore. It hurts but its feels good i need to eat but i just cant im going to kill myself the death threats for no reason almost being doxxed the body shaming that started at age 6 , i cant i just cant the "jokes" or "helping" is no good to me the amount of times I've felt insecure and bad about myself is to much to the fact I've self harmed. Like this wasn't hard enough to live through I've ben sexually assaulted my a man this man sended me 3 videos if his d1ck when i said no and he also wanted to see me, besides the body shaming no ive been body shamed yesterday so part of the body shaming ,sexual assault ,almost being doxxed and the self harm happened in only a few days. And the jokes happened not that long ago either and I've been bodyshamed by my mother someone of the internet my "friend" some other girl in my class this girl that was a friend of mine in school a little bit but we stopped talking and then she just did that now im insecure and suicidal. This all could've been avoided but you can't have everything you want in life