I really wanna die.

i wanna die before they do. because i don't deserve to live.

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Find something that makes you happy in life, that can be talking to a mate or a hobby you enjoy doing. You might be sad now but keep your head up and be with the ones who you are close to, because the ones who love you the most, love you for who you are and not what you're trying to be. And remember it's ok if you struggling, it's ok to struggle.