Hopelessness, relationship and depression.

I've been feeling really hopeless and kind of lifeless lately. I can tell very easily that something is not right. I have diagnosed depression but I've been feeling good and now suddenly stuff doesn't seem to be right. *I do not have BPD or Bipolar disorder* plus, the only person or anything in this world that makes me feel better is my girl, but she lives more far away from me and we can't be together much. She has BPD and lately she's been in a "period" aka doesn't seem right at all, had some anger outbursts. After the last anger outburst which lasted about 3 hours, she came back to me and called me because I was sleeping. She said she is sorry for what happened and we were back to the normal type of communication aka lots of affection and love. And now, after the time she came back she's been a little distant and treating me as a friend. Telling me that I could go out and sleep with other girls too etc. She claims to be totally on earth and fine at the moment but it doesn't seem that way. I guess I'll give her some time, I know that she is not the usual rn. But still, venting is needed 🤷🏼‍♂️