I just wanted to vent about something I can't say to others

So I know others have it worse but I just wanted to vent somewhere. So like during lock down we obviously couldn't go anywhere and visit friends and family. When lock down came down in the stages, we were eventually allowed to go places and visit others. I had friends that I went to school with and because my family allowed my older brother to visit his friends, I wanted to visit my friends too but my family banned me from seeing my friends and so I was very obedient and listened. My mom put me in homeschooling and so I was fine with it but my marks dropped drastically and my family got me extra Lessons tutors which I was fine with but the place for the tutor is so near our home and so I just walk there but I am not allowed to leave the house without a family member by my side. I soon stopped going outside because I started to feel like I was being imprisoned and I soon noticed that my grandfather would accuse me of stuff that I didn't do, and I was annoyed but kept quiet because if I say something back, my whole family would step in and tell me everything I did wrong. Not long after that I was on my phone and computer more because I lacked human contact and the only time I had really laughed or genuinely smiled was when I watched videos of my favorite gamers or funny videos, but because I was on my phone a lot of the time, my grandfather started to assume that I was always thinking of games or TV or something stupid, if I said something back then it would create a argument so again I stayed quiet. I feel like my mind is slowly falling apart and I constantly feel tired. My whole family mostly takes interest in my older brother so I am just another existence in the house, both me and my brother like art so we have very different art styles but if I show my family my art, they look at it and walk away but if my brother shows them his art, it's like a masterpiece and they will look at it for hours and talk about it for a whole day or longer. I honestly think that there is favoritism in my family but that's because my brother is the angel of the family and even if we go to birthday parties of cousins, aunts or uncles everyone takes interest in my brother and I have always stood in a corner watching everyone get along (ngl there was food so I wasn't completely bothered because I at least had something to eat and somewhere to stand or sit). I've never complained, never threw tantrums and I've always tried to be kind and friendly but I feel so drained out and scared of talking. I don't think I've ever really spoken and felt comfortable speaking because to me it feels uncomfortable and talking doesn't feel right to me. I suppose all I ever wanted was to be loved and to live peacefully and quietly but my mind feels like it's slowly being ripped apart by words said by others