i don't wanna be alive.

so i'm new and i rly don't wanna be alive and all my family says it's just bc i'm growing up but they don't understand and i only have 1 true friends that helps and i think abt kms everyday but then remember her. and i can't do it. and i relapes every now and then and she gets mad bc she tries so hard to help me and it usually helps to know there is one person who cares but i can't stop and idk why and i just rly need some1 to talk to.🙁