Friend issues
!Before I start. I'll call my friend Judy to not use her name.!
So me and Judy met in school. We got along quickly. I enjoyed talking to her, but there were some problems already at the start. She gossiped a lot about me. Judy called me an ugly & fat pig. That's when I started to feel bad in my body. She never apologized. Back then I was a really dumb kid. I forgave her, but started to starve myself and work out. Judy always used me for things she was too scared to do. For example, stealing someones jacket and putting it somewhere. I was her little puppet. I kind of still am, sadly. I never wanted to do those things but she manipulated me. "I will break friendship with you if you won't do it!" or just pretented to be very hurt. I know that i should've told someone about it but I was too scared. Now it's too late. Let's talk about present tho. Maybe she changed? The answer is no. I have to do everything Judy wants. Of course I could break the friendship but I'm too scared to do that. No Judy means no friends. The worst part is that I don't think I matter THAT much to her. I got left alone, while she was talking to other people. Don't get me wrong tho, I'm not saying that I'm the only person she should talk to but I don't wanna be left alone. I literally go out with her when she wants, call her when she is sad. That's what friends do, but she expects me to do it all the time while when i want to call her Judy's always busy. When I want to go out she cancels at the last moment. I do so much and still her best friend is someone else. Someone she rarely talks to really. They have matching profiles, wallpapers, bios and everything. I'm always the second choice or even the third one. When someone ignores her I either have to text them or hate them. Judy made me hate a person and literally the next day they became "besties" I don't have that much time with her now. When I tell her to stop something, for ex. making fun of something she still does it but if I do a thing she doesn't like i'm getting hated. When she heard I might be sick and maybe I will come back home Judy immediately went to another person and ignored me. I didn't go home later tho. I never heard her say sorry. I always have to do that even when she does something bad. Sometimes it's even scary. Once when i poke her hand she started to punch my head. When I talked with someone else for a second because she left me Judy said "yeah you like her more than me". She has to always get what shw wants. When Judy wanted to steal someone from me "for fun" I said no and went somewhere else. You know how proud I was? I don't know what to do. I can't tell her that, and I'm scared that I won't have friends to talk to.
So me and Judy met in school. We got along quickly. I enjoyed talking to her, but there were some problems already at the start. She gossiped a lot about me. Judy called me an ugly & fat pig. That's when I started to feel bad in my body. She never apologized. Back then I was a really dumb kid. I forgave her, but started to starve myself and work out. Judy always used me for things she was too scared to do. For example, stealing someones jacket and putting it somewhere. I was her little puppet. I kind of still am, sadly. I never wanted to do those things but she manipulated me. "I will break friendship with you if you won't do it!" or just pretented to be very hurt. I know that i should've told someone about it but I was too scared. Now it's too late. Let's talk about present tho. Maybe she changed? The answer is no. I have to do everything Judy wants. Of course I could break the friendship but I'm too scared to do that. No Judy means no friends. The worst part is that I don't think I matter THAT much to her. I got left alone, while she was talking to other people. Don't get me wrong tho, I'm not saying that I'm the only person she should talk to but I don't wanna be left alone. I literally go out with her when she wants, call her when she is sad. That's what friends do, but she expects me to do it all the time while when i want to call her Judy's always busy. When I want to go out she cancels at the last moment. I do so much and still her best friend is someone else. Someone she rarely talks to really. They have matching profiles, wallpapers, bios and everything. I'm always the second choice or even the third one. When someone ignores her I either have to text them or hate them. Judy made me hate a person and literally the next day they became "besties" I don't have that much time with her now. When I tell her to stop something, for ex. making fun of something she still does it but if I do a thing she doesn't like i'm getting hated. When she heard I might be sick and maybe I will come back home Judy immediately went to another person and ignored me. I didn't go home later tho. I never heard her say sorry. I always have to do that even when she does something bad. Sometimes it's even scary. Once when i poke her hand she started to punch my head. When I talked with someone else for a second because she left me Judy said "yeah you like her more than me". She has to always get what shw wants. When Judy wanted to steal someone from me "for fun" I said no and went somewhere else. You know how proud I was? I don't know what to do. I can't tell her that, and I'm scared that I won't have friends to talk to.
