Am I a bad friend?

Am I a bad friend? I shouldn’t talk to him, because she likes him too… but I can’t get him out of my head. I think I’m in LOVE with him I’m just too scared to tell him, because he probably doesn’t even like me back I mean he’s the popular boy I’m not popular at all. So is it my fault when he calls me? Is it my fault when he texts me? Is it my fault when he talks to me and we both laugh? I’m not sure anymore what’s my fault and what isn’t. I just hope I can forget him as fast as possible, but it’s so ducking hard!
Do I make her feel ugly, do I make her feel bad about herself? I probably do or at least she tells me I do, but is it my fault? If you would know how sorry I am about looking the way I do… but I can’t change it. I don’t even like myself. I’m ugly inside out so why do you say I’m pretty and make you feel bad? I’m not. And I’m SO SORRY i don’t know what else to do, I don’t want to stop talking to him. He makes me really happy and gives me butterfly’s when I talk to him, but I should let him be with you. Because you like him too. Is it really my fault? It’s his choice to call me not mine! Maybe I should just stop answering him. I’m just so confused. Dear God or someone out there PLEASE help me, I LITERALLY BEG YOU!

Tw:
Should I hurt myself for being such a bad friend it’s what I deserve right?

I’m sorry this is so long