a little vent about my family, i guess

so,,, where do i begin with this, i am just so tired of getting gaslighted and ignored by my family over and over again, i'm just so tired of not being taken seriously, im just so tired of getting being blamed for all of their issues, i am just so tired of getting my emotions invalidated just because they dont understand (even though they dont even bother to talk to me). i currently live with my grandmother and sometimes my parents call me over, not because they want to spend time with me, but because they want me to babysit my younger sister while they sit around and do nothing, i tried talking to them but they somehow end up making me look like the bad guy. i came out to my mom 1 year ago, and now she brings it up for no reason, like i tell her (jokingly) " i finally understood something in math, i dont think ill get used to it" and she goes "what did you think all trans people are stupid" what does that have to do with anything???? not to mention im not exactly allowed to be myself and wear the stuff i want, i mean my dad is not even trying to hide his transphobia and keeps telling me to let my hair grow, i just i dont know what to do anymore... im just tired of it all, i hate it here