I Need to Vent

I wish I knew how to deal with openly aggressive people. I wish my mother wasn't a nightmare.

I've never had to deal with people shouting, or slamming doors, or doing things especially with the purpose of making me miserable. I get this desperate need to de-escalate, but that doesn't help. Everything I do seems to escalate it, instead.

It feels like I keep getting attacked, and I just lie down and take it because I never learned how to fight.

It's almost humiliating to say that I can't stand my mom, so I normally don't say it. I know some people wouldn't take it seriously, and I don't want people to think of me as some 14 year old who "hates her parents" because of something that is ultimately for my own good.

But I really can't stand her. She's awful to deal with.

I'm at the point where I want to kill myself right now, with the sole purpose of selfishly putting that eternal blame on my mother's shoulders.

At least that way, I can attack back.

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DancingStarGoddess ·

You said you hadn't had to deal with it previously, what changed that you're aware of to start her behaving in such a way?

Also if it does not stop, perhaps it's best to think about removing yourself from the situation and making the peaceful life you so desire.

NorthernRoses · 26-30, F

@DancingStarGoddess She left us to pursue her career when I was a kid. This is the first time I've lived with her. I really thought it'd be okay but 🤷

Yeah, I'm working on it. It's just taking so long, I'm starting to wonder if I'll last long enough to get away.

DancingStarGoddess ·

@NorthernRoses Ahhh ok that makes sense. It sounds like she doesn't have that sort of motherly instinct in her. My mom was kind of like that a lot of my life.

Shame she doesn't seem to understand the impact her behavior as well as her even suddenly wafting back into your life after so much time not in present company has on you and your siblings. (She sounds more than a little flakey and selfish if you'll pardon my saying so.)

Try and hold on or even just have it out with her, and tell her how what she's doing makes you feel. If nothing comes of telling someone that what they're doing is causing legitimate harm to you, you have your answer even if it's a hard one. I hope there comes a solution to all if this for you.