I Need to Vent

One of my brothers sent me a message on Facebook all out of the blue today. Apparently he's gotten engaged, and is getting married next summer. I assume he wants me to attend the wedding, since this is the first time he's messaged me since like, 2010.

Thing is, I don't really get along with either of my brothers, and this guy the least. I don't really want to attend his wedding, but I'm pretty sure the rest of the family would notice if I was there or not.

I don't know, my pride, pettiness and obligation are at war here.

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SW-User

Yeah, that's tough. I'm estranged from a lot of my extended family so I understand some of the stress of having people try to pop back into your life when it's convenient for them.

Maybe his decision to take such a big step in his life has given him some perspective. Maybe talk to him some more and see why he wants you there. There might be some chance that he regrets not reaching out sooner and wants to make amends.

Ultimately, you know him best and you should do what's right for you. You're not obligated to go just because he's family.

NorthernRoses · 22-25, F

@SW-User honestly, I don't even know him that well. I have a sneaking suspicion that he only told me because he's obligated to do so, and our family dislikes public drama.

The worst part is, I feel hurt that he messaged me at all, and I don't even know why.

JP1119 · 36-40, M

@NorthernRoses The only reason I can think of that you would feel hurt that he messaged you is because you think he did it out of a sense of obligation, but you wanted him to really genuinely want you to come to the wedding. Does that make sense? If so, why not give him the benefit of the doubt this time?