I Need to Vent
[b]How much time and space do we need?[/b]
It's aggravating how different we are. I'm not even making reference to culture or race by any means. He's 13 years my senior and yet it feels like I'm the only person he's ever dated outside of his ex-wife (if one chooses to count that). Everything with him is a routine...for the past decade almost. I love him, I truly do, but each day becomes a little harder to tolerate. I'm a person of affection. I love to be up under my partner, steal kisses, hangout on the weekends--going out or staying in occasionally--engaging in partnered activities, etc. That isn't natural for him.
I'll admit he has made progress in the affection field. Shockingly. But, I think he sometimes forgets that I need more than that. Men want to feel needed and respected, women want to feel reassured and valued. Consider it a rule of thumb. I know he's a man of actions rather than words, but damn it, I give him both, why can't I have it in return? I hate asking to see him because it feels as if I'm begging for his time (although he insists the feeling is always mutual). He doesn't tell me I'm beautiful, or that he's thinking of me, or even that he misses me (well, every blue moon). I do not mean to come off as needy by any way. But when I go over his place I immediately start to hop into task to alleviate his stress since he has enough on his platter. We've been dating for about 4 months and have gone on about 6 dates (excluding the surprise vacation). 4 of those dates were at the same place which I despise...even after asking him to consider something different. He goes to this one place so f*cking much the people know him by name and face! Then again, it's not often you run into a Russian at a place like that.
It was never my intentions for him to become complacent with me. And I hate when I have talks with him about my issues with our relationship and he responds, "Ok. I'll make a note of it," as if I'm one of his clients and not his partner. I know what he means by it but still, it's not okay. I expect some things to come naturally when you're dating someone you're truly into.
He's the kind of guy where you can be with him for 4 years, and he will never say the words 'I love you' rather he'll prove it with his actions. As much as I say that's okay, it's not. I would love to hear him say it to me. I love this guy but dammit, I don't like having to ignore him or give him space for him to realize that this really an issue with our relationship.
It's aggravating how different we are. I'm not even making reference to culture or race by any means. He's 13 years my senior and yet it feels like I'm the only person he's ever dated outside of his ex-wife (if one chooses to count that). Everything with him is a routine...for the past decade almost. I love him, I truly do, but each day becomes a little harder to tolerate. I'm a person of affection. I love to be up under my partner, steal kisses, hangout on the weekends--going out or staying in occasionally--engaging in partnered activities, etc. That isn't natural for him.
I'll admit he has made progress in the affection field. Shockingly. But, I think he sometimes forgets that I need more than that. Men want to feel needed and respected, women want to feel reassured and valued. Consider it a rule of thumb. I know he's a man of actions rather than words, but damn it, I give him both, why can't I have it in return? I hate asking to see him because it feels as if I'm begging for his time (although he insists the feeling is always mutual). He doesn't tell me I'm beautiful, or that he's thinking of me, or even that he misses me (well, every blue moon). I do not mean to come off as needy by any way. But when I go over his place I immediately start to hop into task to alleviate his stress since he has enough on his platter. We've been dating for about 4 months and have gone on about 6 dates (excluding the surprise vacation). 4 of those dates were at the same place which I despise...even after asking him to consider something different. He goes to this one place so f*cking much the people know him by name and face! Then again, it's not often you run into a Russian at a place like that.
It was never my intentions for him to become complacent with me. And I hate when I have talks with him about my issues with our relationship and he responds, "Ok. I'll make a note of it," as if I'm one of his clients and not his partner. I know what he means by it but still, it's not okay. I expect some things to come naturally when you're dating someone you're truly into.
He's the kind of guy where you can be with him for 4 years, and he will never say the words 'I love you' rather he'll prove it with his actions. As much as I say that's okay, it's not. I would love to hear him say it to me. I love this guy but dammit, I don't like having to ignore him or give him space for him to realize that this really an issue with our relationship.
26-30, F
