another bickering of mine

i really wanna take a break from school,even just this semester i want to take it easy,but i can't,it always feels like im getting left behind and for some reason i just can't stand being surpassed,i feel so exhausted and burned out but i really just can't take a break,i'm still at rank 2 and my mum has high expectations,she's been asking me to climp up to rank 1,but for this whole grade i haven't and it just kills me to think what her reaction would be once my grade decreases instead of increasing.