Hi @
ruerue, long time since my schooldays. But we have a couple of grandchildren who stay with us one day a seek -or more- when mum is working shifts. Most nights, when its lights out there is often a couple of minutes of silence, then one or the other will come creeping out to tell nanna or grandad of their latest fears and problems, often revolving around school, sometimes there are tears. Yet apparently full of it and self-confident most of the time.
So maybe others feel the same as you. Covering over their insecurities. We are never really alone. We can always try to be there for others, which strangely can build our own self-respect
Believe in yourself. Things can change. At my age I still sometimes stuff chocolate digestives I don't really need - its not easy I know. But every moment is a new start. So no, it won't kill you. You won't die.
All the best. That said, I'm glad my own school-days are far behind me.....😀