I's so upset. It was a busy day at work and i kept craving soup.

Now I'm home and it's 10.30 pm. I asked my parents if I could order, and instead my mother berated me for wanting it. I'm so sad about so many things and I just wanted to sit in bed and have some soup. Depression is taking over me once more. I feel like hurting myself again, after a decade of not self harming, I just feel the need to drag a blade against some skin again. Just some sweet pain. Some punishment. But I don't want to be that person again. I want to love myself. Do small things that make me happy and keep me going. i just wanted some damn soup. Jesus.

Update: anyway I'm getting soup and no one can stop me.