I'm feeling all kind of self hatred right now

I feel so disappointed in myself because, even though I try to do my best... I always relapse.

And right now I'm incredibly stressed about everything going on in my life that I'm barely able to do anything... which adds to the stress and disappointment.

I tried to distract myself but my brain is on fire, so loud it makes my body recoil.

I am even ashamed to admit this because people go through worse things. But my brain wasn't able to stay still for the past few hours so I decided to write it.
I apologize for the negative energy.

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Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

Everybody has feelings and sometimes they are not positive ;we can't always be positive.
Try to forgive yourself for whatever you think you're guilty of.
Yes, you may need to make changes in order not to relapse, but whatever happened is done if you can make amends go ahead that's a good idea.
If it's nothing that needs amending then again just forgive yourself and move on.
I think when we brood and think too much on things we can't change, then we have a really hard time moving forward.