I'm feeling all kind of self hatred right now

I feel so disappointed in myself because, even though I try to do my best... I always relapse.

And right now I'm incredibly stressed about everything going on in my life that I'm barely able to do anything... which adds to the stress and disappointment.

I tried to distract myself but my brain is on fire, so loud it makes my body recoil.

I am even ashamed to admit this because people go through worse things. But my brain wasn't able to stay still for the past few hours so I decided to write it.
I apologize for the negative energy.